The most selfless act of kindness

I will forever remember this moment of pure joy and happiness for my daughter and for myself I will remember this selfless act of kindness for the rest of my life, and I can only hope that I will be able to pay this one forward.

Every year the Knights of Columbus at our Parish host a Father-Daughter Dinner/Dance.  Of course the first weekend they made the announcement after mass my heart sank, was Rory going to hear this, was she going to want to go, how do I explain again that Daddy can't be here for it and that there is always next year.  At this point in the deployment we have both grown weary of the explanations of why Daddy can't be there always followed by sobbing tears. In the end, we got through that Sunday without Rory hearing about it, and I was safe for the following Sunday because we went to mass at another Church.

The next Sunday, there was that moment again, and I knew she heard the announcement that time. I saw her ears perk up and smile come across her face, my heart was now in my shoes.  Then came the most incredible moment.  Our neighbor Ryan scooted his way next to me right after the announcement from the altar and whispered to me "Would it be OK with you if I took Rory to the Father-Daughter Dance with Audrey and I?"  Well, the flood gates opened and I couldn't stop crying.  To me, this was the most selfless act of kindness that I had ever experienced.  Ryan offered to give up his special time with his daughter Audrey to take Rory along with them.  I was beyond speechless. 

Rory took her Daddy along with her

Ryan, his daughter Audrey and Rory

Rory and Ryan and Daddy

Being a military family isn't easy, and being a military child is even more difficult.  As an adult I can express my emotions and I understand my feelings of loneliness, isolation, stress and worry.  I can ask for help.  Kids, especially the ages that our kids are, have no idea what to do with their emotions and even though in Rory's lifetime of all almost 6 years, her daddy has been away for about 2 years and that's no including nights in the field and weeks in Washington DC.  She has been so great and understanding of why Daddy can't physically can't be there at some things, but she is very proud of her Daddy and she is a Daddy's girl.  So when it came to the Father-Daughter Dance I think only another military Dad could understand how a little girl feels, and Bryan and I will forever be grateful to Ryan and his family who have made this deployment a little bit easier.

Spring Break

It seems sooooooo long ago, well it was over a month ago, but it's worth recapping the week, at least I think so!

We started off by going to see the Imagination Movers in Concert in Kansas City!  They are a kids group that have a show of the Disney Channel and my kids are addicted to them.  They have songs that the whole family can listen too, and Bryan and I don't get annoyed with hearing them over and over.  So off we went, and yes I took all 3 kids by myself, and yes I am crazy, but I knew that they would all Love it, and they did not disappoint!

Rory and Brendan posing by the concert sign...Jack didn't want to be photographed!

3 of the 4 Movers, Scott, Rich and Smitty

The other big event of Spring Break was celebrating St. Patrick's Day, which is a HUGE day in our house.  This year we had some very special visitors....My best friend for over 15 years Becky and her youngest daughter Juliette!!!  Here they all are patiently waiting for the parade to start...don't they look sweet and innocent!

 

A trip to Leavenworth must include the Carousel Museum...Juliette wasn't too sure about that

Rory was right at home

Juliette, Jack and Brendan were a little happier in the "Twisty Seat"

Of course the favorite thing was the quarter tornado...

The week went by all too quickly, but it was so great to have such wonderful visitors and the kids had such a great time!!

3-21

It's hard to believe that this date, 3-21, March 21, has become a little celebration day in our house.  March 21, 2007 I would have never given this date another thought, just another day on the calendar, now it means so much more.

3-21 is World Down Syndrome Awareness Day, as Down Syndrome has the mark of 3 copies of the 21st chromosome.  Our Sweet Brendan has that little extra something, and so much more. 

We did a little balloon launch this afternoon with blue and yellow balloons, and it was so much fun.  Rory knows that Brendan has Down Syndrome and she knows that means that it takes him longer to do things, but that's all it means to her.  It means nothing more or less, it doesn't change who her brother is, she loves him no matter what, and our wish is that all people feel the same way.

Brendan and his buddy, Mr. "Neighbor" Ryan

The big question was, "Will they all let go of them?"

What's a celebration without chocolate lollipops??

See what I mean??

Turns out I'm not a superhero, and I still need my mom!

I never really thought that I was a superhero, let me say that first.  I think I did get lulled into a false sense of security when people would make this comment to me a lot, "I don't know how you do it!  3 kids under 5 while your husband is gone."  I don't think being a parent to 3 kids is that big of deal, being a parent is hard work, even if you have both parents under one roof.  Parenting is supposed to be a challenge.  If it was easy then what would we have to laugh about somedays?  It is a privilege for  me to be a mom to Rory, Brendan and Jack, and yes it is a challenge.  So sometimes when I think about all the people who have said to me "I don't know how you do it", I really do want to take it as a compliment, I think, but then I think, you are clearly not in my house at 3:30pm until 8pm...then you would be wondering how have these children not been taken away from their mother yet?

Of course I am kidding, but any parent knows that kids "witching hour", no matter their age, always strikes at dinner time, and my house is no different! This is a daily occurrence, always has been, always will be, but it's in this time that the phrase "I don't know how you do it" keeps popping into my head, and that's when I really hate it.  I feel like I'm not suppose to lose my cool, not suppose to raise my voice when Rory won't acknowledge anything that I say to her, not throw my hands up when Jack has dumped yet another box of Life cereal on the floor and is sitting in it making "cereal angels", not want to feel like a total failure when I can't understand why Brendan is screaming and I can't figure out why, and he can't tell me.

A few weeks ago I would say I hit rock bottom, not Charlie Sheen rock bottom, but my bottom.  Both of the boys had croup, I was going on day 5 of little to no sleep.  That's when I made the call to my Mom.  I asked her to come out, that I needed help and I thought that I was losing my mind...sleep deprivation will do that to you.  My superhero Mom then said "let me book a ticket" and I swear 20 minutes later she sent me her flight confirmation. 

I know that she wished I would have asked her for help earlier, but when you keep having people tell you "I don't know how you do it"  you feel like you should be able to do this, especially when this is deployment #5 since I have known Bryan and deployment #3 since we have had kids.  So yes, it is hard for me to ask for help, and honestly anyone who knows we well, knows this.  I know my Mom could hear it in my voice that I needed help, but she also knew that I have the greatest neighbors in the world, and I would be more likely to ask them for help then to ask my parents to buy last minute tickets and fly half way across the country.  Never doubt that your mother knows you best!

I promise that their visit could not have come at  a better time, they may think differently as we had an unexpected 8 inch snow dumping!  For the first snow storm this winter I didn't have to worry about how I was going to shovel out the driveway without having to run back inside every 10 minutes to settle some disagreement between the kids, or get someone a snack or a drink.  I was also able to get about 10 meals stocked in our new chest freezer with Mom and I taking turns cooking!  I was also able to get several nights of uninterrupted sleep.  By the time I had to drop them off at the airport I was able to think clearly again, and I had my wits back!

My Mom will always be my superhero, and the kids think that Mammy and Kip are pretty special too!

Well, I clearly spoke to soon...

After basking in the glow our first "sort of back to normal" school week I was awoken with a HUGE slap in the face, well it wasn't that huge but a ridiculous wake up call at 5:15 from Jack was just rude.  Not only was it rude, he was beyond cranky.  If you haven't experienced it, let me warn you that a 2 year old who wakes up cranky isn't pretty, because not only is he in a cranky bad 2 year old mood, he tends to also wake everyone else up putting them in bad moods too!  Add to that, Rory making a horrific sounding cough and complaining almost in tears of a sore throat....yeah, all before a cup of a coffe...guess who is in a bad mood now!

Off to the Doctor office by 8:15, 2 out of 3 kids cultured and now all 3 are screaming and crying...what's a mom to do??  Go home and give them all oreos at 9am.  Not my proudest moment, but there isn't anymore screaming and now I have stopped crying too.

It's the days like these when I hate deployments the most.  Yes I know they are a fact of our life, I'm not complaining about that.  It's just easier when your husband is here with you to help you through it, and it's 100 times harder when you are missing part of the team.  I never want to say anything to Bryan about how it's really going over here, because how fair is that?  It's not like he can make it any better, and he has other things he needs to be focused on.  We are 6 months in and we have a little less than 6 months to go, so I'm going to have a pity party for one..and I'll be done with it at 12:01am Tuesday morning...

Did that really just happen??

Have we just completed 5 consecutive days where kids went to school???  What??  No wonder I'm feeling at little unsettled.  This feat hasn't been accomplished since late last year!  Am I being slightly dramatic about this??  Perhaps, but you have not been in my house, so there!

The funny thing is, here I am all excited about this, knowing that we'll get through another 5 days of a "normal" schedule again next week, and then we're right back to square one...damn you President's Day!

Oh well, I'm sitting here and enjoying the quiet, planning the activities for the upcoming weekend, and praying that all 3 kids stay in their own beds until at least 5:45 tomorrow morning...I'm a simple girl you know!

A break up letter to Winter

Dear Winter,
I'm sorry to say that it is time for us to go our separate ways.  We had a nice time when we were happy, we had our first snow fall, the kids loved it.  We had a magical Christmas Eve snowfall, and a perfect Christmas with Bryan home from Iraq.  It was January 2 of the New Year that things began going south for us...

Bryan returned to Iraq, the kids tried to get back into the school routine, but it just wasn't working.  We had illnesses, temper tantrums, and too many days of being stuck in the house.  I've spent far too much time with the shovel, and not enough time sledding, building snowmen and making snow angels.

Yes, we've had good times, like lots of fun with our neighbors commiserating about the shoveling and the ridiculous amount of snow days that the kids have had.  We have shared meals and bits of sanity, all while the kids have fun wild to get out the aggravation of not being able to play outside because it is -10 degrees outside.   Bryan and I were also able to share a wonderful weekend together to reconnect and recharge mid-deployment, but was it really necessary to slap me in the face upon my return home with a blizzard and 3 home bound snow days???

Let's be adult about this, and just appreciate what our time together was, and move on.

Thank you..

P.S.  The ice dam on my roof causing the water to leak onto my living room ceiling was a rather childish way to get back at me for breaking up with you.